biggs and belle go to summer camp–

We are watching a couple of adorable pets for a couple friends, while they are in Greece. I explained to pet-mom that her dog, Biggs, and cat, Belle, were doing very well–I think I’ve convinced them that they are currently at puppy/kitty summer camp.  Which, of course, means letters to your parents from summer camp!

The following is the correspondence between Biggs and his dog-mom during his time at Swenson summer camp.  For being a small dog with bug eyes and no thumbs, he does quite well at typing, and spelling, and punctuation….and grammar…and sentence construction…


Summer Camp: Day 87

Sleepy kitties too high off the ground to sneak attack.
Sleepy kitties too high off the ground to sneak attack.
All the balls are all for Biggs.
All the balls are all for Biggs.

MOM! I have been at summer camp for about 87 days, and it is AWESOME! There are SO MANY BALLS HERE! SO MANY! I have collected them all from that stupid white dog. I win. Because I am older and wiser. Belle is fine. She seems incapaBELLE of not making friends. I caught her napping next to weird grey furry cat in the chair this morning. I love you and hope you are having fun in Greece.

P.S. My personal trainer is this super sexy greyhound named Soup. She acts all nonchalant, but I can tell she totally diggs the Biggs.

Love, Jackolus Bigglisby III

That pretty is totally into me.  I am trying to keep it nonchalant.
“That pretty one is totally into me. I’m trying to keep it cool.”

BIIIIIIGGGS! I miss you, stink face!! I’m glad you are getting along so well with Soup and winning at balls. Give IncapaBelle a kiss for me and keep playing nice. Only about 105 days left of summer camp and you can come back home and get fat again!!
p.s. Tell Carly thank you for being so great and for letting you use the laptop to check in with me. It made my night. I love yous.
Love, Trishell


Summer Camp: Day 45

BALL!
BALL!

MOM! You are a liar! You never told me this is a fitness camp. ERRRRR. You have used my inherent love of chasing tennis balls against me! Have you seen this yard?! I have to get all the balls, ALL OF THEM several times a day. I bring them to the humans and they just have MORE! AND THEY KEEP THROWING THEM ACROSS THE HUGE DAMN YARD! HUUUUGGGGEEE! This yard has to be at least my size times 15. I swear.  They haven’t given me hardly any of the treats you left. BUT, I keep stealing the little white dog’s treats. Too slow! She is an uppity treat snob–oh well more for me! This might be the worst thing that has ever happened to me. in my life. ever.

P.S. Camp counselor man said Belle’s cat play pen “looks less like a play pen and more like a kitty prison cell block”.

P.S. I still totally love you and dad! Belle is a dork.

Love, A very angry Jackolus Bigglisby

kitty cell block
kitty cell block

Biggs, I knew that if I told you that this was fat camp, you wouldn’t go. And you might develop some kind of body image problem. Just keep chasing those balls like the champ I know you are. Like a puppy Hercules. I don’t blame you for stealing treats, but we are going to have a serious talk about it when we get home. Stealing is wrong and you are a bully. 

Also, yes, the play pen is definitely just jail. It is what it is and hopefully she will not get sent to kitty jail.

p.s. we still totally love you and your dorky sister, Belle. With her strong arm. And both of your googlie eyes. we miss you quite a lot. Give Belle a kiss for me…if you can manage to let her get close enough to you.

Love, Trishell

Belle and Freya have become buddies.
Belle and Freya have become buddies.

Summer Camp: Day 982

Mom! It is day 982 of camp, and it has gotten A LOT better. I pretty much run this place now. I am a pretty big deal. I suppose the fact that Soup is my “personal trainer”, should have given me a pretty big hint I am here to get fit. But, mom—oh man—I am! I am totally your little Hercules puppy. You would be so proud of me. 

I also get to cuddle in the big human bed at night. We have kicked Soup to the curb, bitches! She claims she sleeps on the floor now by choice because “it is summer” and “it is too hot”. But I know she knows that the tall on is MY new-tall-fake-mom–and she best step down by choice of else feel the wrath of puppy Hercules with all its might. She stepped down. 

Anyway, things are awesome, and new-tall-fake-mom is giving us pup-peroni now! She might be my new favorite thing. NOPE! PUP-PERONI is my new favorite thing!

Love, Your strongest most amazingest little dog ever, Biggs

"Look, mom, tall-fake-mom is totally in love with me."
“Look, mom, tall-fake-mom is totally in love with me.”

Biggs! I’m so proud of you! You are such my little alpha. Soup knows her place, now. You have come so far! I can’t wait to see how fit you have gotten and how fast you can chase the ball!  You enjoy those pup-eroni’s and your new-tall-fake-mom until we get back. Enjoy the big bed and be polite. That means no farting in anyone’s face and try not to lick the human’s feet too much when you are going to sleep. That’s manners. I love you very much and we are talking and thinking about you and Belle all the time. I love you, my handsome man!


Summer Camp: Day 64a5

Mom! This place is a prison! How could you leave me here! My tall-fake-mom pretends to be nice to me, and then, AND THEN-she takes away my eye-goobys! I growl in protest, but she just pick the goop out of my eyes, anyway. WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!? MOM! It isn’t fair! I was saving those. I am working on a gift for you, mom!

The thing is, let’s be honest, mom–I won’t be around forever. I know we don’t like to talk about this, but I was building you a life-sized statue of myself out of my eye-goobys. And now she is putting a serious damper on this plan. Doesn’t she understand?! My statue will be monumental, it will be found by future generations of space-people-archeologists in the post-apocyolipical remains of Earth and know I was worshipped as a deity. Damn, you, tall-fake-mom! My plans are falling apart!

A little Biggs in love.
A little Biggs in love.

But on the plus side, our fitness camp has a new member, and she is sooooo big, and soooooo pretty! I might be in love, and I am so fit, I can literally run circles around her. She is my new favorite.

Love, Biggs

P.S. I don’t understand numbers and/or counting. 

NOT YOUR EYE GOOBIES! I know how special they are to you. Don’t worry, though, love. You make so much Goop, it will all be replaced before you know it. And Belle can chip in with some of her goobies because she makes quite a lot too. But she doesn’t seem quite as attached to hers.

Miss Chloe does look quite beautiful. Don’t forget to be polite. No butt licking on the first date. Let her sniff you before she makes up her mind to love you back. And no, I MEAN NO, mounting. Let her come to you. Best luck with your budding romance. I look forward to hearing more about your adventures! See you in a couple days, boo face!


Summer Camp: Day 5f8
Too late, MOM!
Too late, MOM!

Mom! It is day 5f8 of camp and I hear you are coming home?! I have had such an adventure! I lost so much weight here, my body disappeared.  

LOOK! Mom! I am just a head! A super-spooky-floaty-head.

Okay, come get me now. I am done playing with all these girls. They are boring. We can bring Belle home too, I guess.

 Love, Biggs 



Biggs and Belle with their loving mom and dad.
Biggs and Belle with their loving mom and dad.

 

6 responses to “biggs and belle go to summer camp–”

  1. I seriously LOVE seeing all of this in one place. Well done! And thank you so much for being such a great camp counselor and letting my little man check in with me. They were so comforting and made me smile so large while we were on vacation. It was so wonderful knowing that they were in such great and loving care. I can’t even express how grateful we are to you both.
    <3 <3 <3

    Like

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